Kodiak Smokeless Tobacco and projectile vomiting
This weekend I went with a few of the boys to a Nascar race at Michigan International Speedway. On Saturday night we went to The Bone Yard for some BBQ ribs. We usually go to a sports bar called Kickers afterward but it was closed due to the power blackout.
So how do four Canadian guys amuse themselves in a Detroit suburb on a Saturday night? They go to a Seven Eleven and purchase some chewing tobacco. Then they drive around until they find a small town called Farmington which resembles Mayberry from the Andy Griffith Show. Below is my recollection of what happened between 8 PM and 10 PM that night.
My friend Gary is the first to try some Wintergreen flavoured Kodiak Smokeless Tobacco. He takes a very small pinch and puts in his mouth. Real men chew tobacco so I take a small pinch out of the can and carefully place it in my mouth. The other two guys with us, John and Russ think we’re crazy and refuse to try. Naturally, I tease them and repeatedly call them a bunch of wimps.Gary warned me that my mouth would start to salivate right away, which it did. He also said I would get a buzz from the nicotine but I wasn’t feeling anything. “Give it some time,” he said. He also warned me not to swallow any.
We wandered around the town for a little, spitting tobacco, looking for a place to get a pint. I was getting bored with this little piece of tobacco and decided to put a much bigger wad in the side of my mouth—the same way major league pitchers do between innings before they head back to the mound.
We approached the main street and in less than a minute I began to feel light-headed. Then I began to feel dizzy, unstable, reaching for the side of buildings to balance myself. I wobbled over to a park bench across from the movie theatre and sat down as my head begin to spin. I spit out the tobacco. I was amazed at how fast it affected the rest of my body.
The other three guys were killing themselves with laughter as I began to keel over on this bench. I was beginning to feel nauseous and worried about the huge slab of BBQ ribs I had earlier. Too late! I asked the guys to stop laughing and help me up. I was going to be sick.
I looked around and saw a pot of geraniums beside a building. Leaning against the building with one hand I bent over and emptied my dinner on top of those geraniums. A family out for ice cream walked by. I didn’t notice them but the guys assured me that this family was not impressed with my abdominal strength. They probably assumed I had a few too many pints at the pub across the street. I fertilized the geraniums for a little while and sat back down on the bench in disbelief.
Feeling dizzy and hot from hurling, John found some cold bottled water for me from one of the nearby stores. I noticed that Gary was buckled over as well but it was from laughing so hard. I was the entertainment for the evening. As if things couldn’t get any worse, I realized that a severe case of diarrhea was about to finish me off.
I sprang up and staggered around telling the guys that, “I need to find a bathroom! Now! I’m not kidding guys! I gotta go!!” John found me a washroom in the pub across the street. I was relieved. The stall was occupied. John tried the door a few times when I voice said, “I’ll be just a minute.” That minute seemed like an eternity.
I found relief in the washroom and wandered out to the bar where they guys were still laughing at my stupidity. The smell of food made nauseous again and I staggered outside. I had to vomit again but my pot of geraniums was across the street and the light was red. I didn’t care. I ran out into the street in front of a pickup truck that stopped to let me pass. Right in front of the truck I projectile vomited into the street—a first for me. I found another bench down the street and sipped my water for the next hour while they guys had a beer in the pub.
Back out our hotel, I cleaned up and went to bed. Passed out is more like it.
After great embarassment, I can now say that I have experienced chewing tobacco, that it is a disgusting habit and that I’m not a real man.
Stumble It!Posted in Humour and Observations and Travel at 10:05 AM
Comments
Only a real man would publicly confess this kind of thing. Thank you for airing your failures so completely - this kind of disclosure guarantees I will never try chewing tobacco.
And no one got pictures of this?!
Posted by: David on May 19, 2006 12:27 PM
Kodiak is great. I love it.
Posted by: Ben on July 12, 2006 11:03 PM
well ahahah that is a good story cuz the first time i had every tried chewing tobacco i never puked and i chewed for proboly a eyar thenh as i enterd grade eight they came out with apple and i tried it on the buss with soem buddies and it made me sick i turned white and threw up but that didnt stop me ahah now i still chew and im in grade 10 nwo and yeah its good i really enjoy red man or peach or apple or mint or straight and mint and all except berry ill chew it but nto my fav and now a tin will proboly last me a day or to haha wich is pretty bad but whatever ig ess
Posted by: nick on September 22, 2006 7:17 PM
haha this makes me laugh b/c im 16 n i go through a tin of kodiak every other day yes it is a bad habit but i quit every month 4 bout a week so i can get a buzz again …
but not to lie the first time i ever puked.. b/c of chewing was b/c i was playing capture the flag with some guys n i was running around ( got more in my system like down the hatch) but i walked it off after puking n yeah when i started it was a bad feeling but once u get ur GUT in ur belly u can do pretty much as u want im chewing right now to tell u the truth some Ice…f***ing tigers need to get some baals n beat the yankees
Posted by: zephyrs on October 4, 2006 11:30 PM
Damn straight you aren’t a man, boy!! And that was a shameful waste of a perfectly good chew!
And let me tell you this also. You don’t take some pussy little pinch and put it between your front lip and gums. You take big ol honkin chauw and pack that sucker in the side of your cheek!
I’ve been chewing on an off for over 36 years now. Probably longer than you’ve been alive boy. And I can tell you this. If a man can’t handle a real chew, he better stick to bubble gum!
LOL! Now that I’ve had my little fun, (and got your attention) I’ll give you the straight dope. You are to be commended for your honesty! Very admirable. You tell the truth like it is. It is absolutely a disgusting habit. I can assure you of this from personal experience (I truly have been chewing tobacco for over 36 years) and it pleases me to hear that you had such an overwhelming and negative experience with your first use of chewing tobacco.
I only wish when I had my very first experience at the age of 10 I would have been as fortunate as you. Perhaps I never would have used it again.
To anyone out there who would read this thread, know this. A chewing tobacco habit is truly a disgusting and vile one. It can cause you great pain and suffering in your life that you can not even imagine.
To those of you that would even consider trying chewing tobacco I say this; please don’t! Stick to gum, sunflower seeds, toothpicks, what ever! But please don’t try chewing tobacco! You may not be as fortunate as the author of this post. Truly a real man!
Posted by: Dagger on November 11, 2006 2:48 AM
Im in 11th grade, and quit dipping for the second time. i bought Mint Snuff at Mintsnuff.com (aka oregon mind stuff) which is 100% mint leaves, no tobacco or nicotine… costs $2 a tin too. I used to have a lip in whenever i was at the computer or doing my homework, and it got to the point where my mom would catch me once a week. it began doing weird stuff to my mouth, just like bumps and stuff, and after a few months of those, i got sick of it and quit. dont dip, its a waste of money and messes up your mouth.
Posted by: jaxx on November 14, 2006 6:57 PM
well that is a shitty experience i am in the 10th grade and have been chewin for about a year to tell ya the truth i have a dip of grizz mint in right now and it is delicious i kno ppl that gag and puke but yet i havnt gaged yet or even had the feelin of pukin so i will prolly keep chewin for along time cause it satisfys me so much i love it Grizz all the way
Posted by: Joe on December 10, 2006 2:47 AM
that sucks vomiting off of chew except it never happened to me. I dip about half a tin of Kodiak Wintergreen a day. It is expensive. Skoal costs about $5 a can. Its a fucking rip off because the skoal barly gives you a good buzz. For the best buzz, dip off of Kodak.
Posted by: bryant on December 13, 2006 10:31 AM
I smoked for 30 years and I am much heathier now that I quit smoking and chew cope snuff and kodiak. Without it I dont think I would of quit smoking and I would be on an oxogen tank these days. So no complaints here. But if you never start any habit well thats all the better.
Posted by: Rick on January 17, 2007 4:37 PM
try googling farmington michigan and then tell us how it resembles mayberry. are there millionaires in mayberry? how ‘bout a coach store? there’s actually a home here in town that sold for 12.9 million dollars recently. get in your pick up and drive back to canada in your denim jacket and jeans, i’ll be here in “mayberry” in my gucci suit and 500 series benz.
Posted by: andy on February 16, 2007 2:39 AM
Wow, that guy above me is a dick.
Posted by: Chuck on February 27, 2007 5:33 PM
I have been chewing for about a month and i really like it. My first time i did Kodiak Ice and i could barely stand up. I am in 10th grade and play football and my teammates got me into it. girls think it is gross but it is something to do with my friends. I actually have a lip of Kodiak in right now and the buzz is great. Oh and by the way Farmington in NOT like Mayberry, if you want Mayberry go to Milan.
Posted by: ryan on March 11, 2007 1:30 AM
i just had my first dip of grizzly wintergreen and OMG…. after 30 mins i was dizzy to the point where i could not stand. i was having cold sweats. after 10 mins of that i threw up. I was a little better after that. now im craving another dip.
Posted by: paul on March 29, 2007 5:23 PM
Yeah I have been pinchin the bear for many years. I dont remember the last time I got a buzz off of it. All you kids who still get a buzz you should quit now cause before long there wont be a buzz, you will just be addicted. I smoke when I go out and drink, and have a smoke now and then during the week, but I cant go a day without my Kodiak. I chewed Copenhagen snuff for a few years as well, I just like Kodiak better cause I can leave it in for a long time.
And if you are chewin peach skoal or any of that candy shit, give it up, just get a jolly rancher and put it in your lip, you will get the same effect. The whole idea behind that fruity shit is to get young kids started on dip.
And you guys are proving it works, just like I did 14 years ago. Skoal Cherry. Ha. fuckin big tobacco man. Well, about time for a dip.
Posted by: acranger on April 1, 2007 5:44 AM
i have ben dipping since the 7th grade and im bout to be a sr. my favorit dip is kodiak wintergreen and what pisses me off is i can not find it in the old black can that was the best but the scond best is grizzly wintergree long cut for both of them long cut is the best well if any one finds kodiak in the black can let me no please
Posted by: Aaron Vance on May 2, 2007 10:58 AM
Ok, so I dip - besides the point. Just wanted to let you know that you are a phenomenal narrative writer. Kudos.
Posted by: Jon Ross on May 20, 2007 10:47 PM
i remember my fist dip of kodiak and now i don’t dip anything else.
Posted by: Tim Heiss on June 29, 2007 1:52 AM
im in the 11th grade and ive been dippin kodiak for 4 years, and it aint never bothered me.it may not be somethin for real men. id say its a redneck thang. so you can stay in canada and complain all you want but dont put diwn my brand, eh?
Posted by: bill on July 2, 2007 1:05 PM
Hello Everyone,
My wife was finally able to kick the habit before she got pregnant with our now first born beautiful baby gilr, so I tought I’ll share the resource that she has used to help her quit the smoking habit with as many people as I can.
She was a heavy smoker for about ten years and just a couple of weeks after finding out about the program that I have researched online, she was able to quit smoking permanently and now can’t stop telling people about how she had kicked the habit for good.
Anyway if you want to check it out, here is the site that my wife has used to help her quit smoking; http://endthehabitnow.com
Posted by: exsmoker on July 27, 2007 7:53 AM
Ive been dippin for a couple yrs now…i quit for like 8 weeks but started back up again bc i got bored..i tried that mint snuff stuff too and was surprised at how well it worked just havin somethin in my cheek, but like i said i started the real stuff again. grizzly mint is my favorite. but im gonna quit again bc i dont get buzed anymore. thats the best part. either watching tv or taking a dump with a fat ass lip. now theres no point. i guess if i have a huge dip once every few weeks it ownt cause any health problems down the road…but hopefully i can just quit the shit all together and stick with booze. nice story i laughed my ass off
Posted by: Joe on July 28, 2007 2:37 PM
i chew copenhagen longcut and i have been for a year. never threw up or anything never got a buzz, but now im hooked.
Posted by: jon on July 31, 2007 4:34 AM
yea man the first time i tried i got sick but i havent since then. so just do it again and u should be fine.
ps. kodiak is the shit
Posted by: jake on August 7, 2007 2:21 PM
GRIZZLY WINTERGREEN is the SHIT!!! it is the best bang for the buck at just over $2 a can. I think it gives you the same amount of buzz as that Kodiak shit does and thats around $4. There’s nothin better than taking a shit readin the sports section of the Cincinnati Enquirer with a big ol’ pinch of that grizz. I have been dipping for about 4 years now and all of my football teammates go out after practice, head up to 747 drive thru and get us some grizzly wintergreen, except for my friend alex who gets that grizzley mint and sometimes skoal citrus because he is a pussy and he cant handle the real man’s dip but he goes throw about a can a day… whereas im about a can every two days. His mom knows he dips though so he can just walk around with a chaw in whereas i have to go take a dump. Well i think im gonna go use to potty right now ;)
Posted by: MIke on August 24, 2007 12:58 PM
GRIZZLY WINTERGREEN is the SHIT!!! it is the best bang for the buck at just over $2 a can. I think it gives you the same amount of buzz as that Kodiak shit does and thats around $4. There’s nothin better than taking a shit readin the sports section of the Cincinnati Enquirer with a big ol’ pinch of that grizz. I have been dipping for about 4 years now and all of my football teammates go out after practice, head up to 747 drive thru and get us some grizzly wintergreen, except for my friend alex who gets that grizzley mint and sometimes skoal citrus because he is a pussy and he cant handle the real man’s dip but he goes throw about a can a day… whereas im about a can every two days. His mom knows he dips though so he can just walk around with a chaw in whereas i have to go take a dump. Well i think im gonna go use to potty right now ;)
Posted by: MIke on August 24, 2007 1:11 PM
Hello All,
I was reading around some of the posts here and I found interesting things that you guys talk about, I just made a blog about quitting smoking resources and ideas that you might want to check out.
If someone is interested in this topic just go to; http://endthehabitnow.blogspot.com and let me know what you think.
Thanks in advance.
Posted by: exsmoker on September 26, 2007 9:39 AM
haha well thanks for sharing the story. Ive experienced the same as well and have also seen multiple others do the same. Kodiak is not a chew one would want to start out with. It is by far the most potent chew on the market. I would recomend grizzly or skoal for those who have never tried. But after trying almost every chew kodiak is by far the smoothest product without the nasty sweet syrupy flavor and well worth the extra dollar. I would also recomend not starting. If you do try kodiak for your first, spit it out at the first signs of the famous “kodiak” buzz, otherwise you will pay dearly just like you explained. Thanks again for your story!
Posted by: rabbit45 on October 16, 2007 4:22 PM
I had my first dip of Kodiak wintergreen when i was about 4 years old, Dad left it out. My mom was sure that I wouldn’t start cause I threw up and was green for a week. I started dippin when I was about 9 or 10 years old and haven’t gone a day without my Kodiak. It’s a bad habit yes, but it’s my habit. I see it as being a part of who I am and so does my wife. I’ve tried other chew and snuff but nothing tastes like Kodiak!!
Posted by: Stewart on October 19, 2007 4:00 PM
I never puked the first time, it was skoal wintergreen. that shit is weak now i chew the grizz wintergreen long cut. Though i never puked the first time i have to say that i recently did because my girlfriend hates it and i swallowed it when she came home. Shit sucks boys, i definetly do not reccomend swallowing (ever! haha)
Posted by: Ben on December 5, 2007 3:17 PM
Stop using all dip and chew. You will end up getting painful root canals long before you should and sitting in a dentists chair feeling like a dope because you got hooked on this stupid stuff. I started in high school and truly thought i would just quit in my early twenties, because, well, who carries on dipping? it’s just a phase. It’s hook is viscious and hard to remove.
Posted by: john on February 1, 2008 2:43 PM
dagger is right if u cant handle a real man’s chew dont dip at all leave it 4 real men
Posted by: william on March 8, 2008 4:30 PM
yeah i dip mostly gizz mint just because its cheep and why spend money on a bad habbit…well hears my story of addiction i dipped and smoked since i was 18 so i did it and felt sick my first few times but then got used to it. after i was addicted i got into a bad car accedent and was of of dip for a month and a half… but i still wanted some whats up with that i must have not been addicted i think i just enjoy it i dont know but i dip now probably a tin every two or three days i guess its better than smoking which i have quit after the accedent but i cant understand after 6 weeks without a dip i still wanted one. I just like to dip and chop wood or do some logging up hear in maine although tobbaco is alot more money for a tin i mean come on grizz is 3.64 a tin and copenhagen which is my faviort is abou 8 a tin who pays that much…
Posted by: ian on March 18, 2008 12:09 PM
Yes Kodiak is the Best chew…I chew every day but only a can a week and like it. It does not hinder me in any way, like a lot of other things could. It relaxes me and is great when playing cards online, or watching the Cubs.
Posted by: Larry on April 11, 2008 10:47 PM
Over 23 years ago I placed a pinch between my cheek and gum and have never stopped since. I truly wish I would have had this same experience 23 years ago because maybe, just maybe I wouldn’t be still doing it today !!!!
Posted by: Adam C. on April 29, 2008 5:08 PM
haha thats rough
i never had kodiak before, its more exspensive then cope/skoal here
skoal/cope w/tax is $4.55 whereas kodiak is 4.35 without tax
but its a kinda dumb habit but its my habit like most ya said
i like new skoal edge and sometimes mint
Posted by: Matt on May 11, 2008 1:12 PM
Great story, I started chewing in 05 and havent stopped since. I started out with Griz Mint and loved it and then I tried Skoal(who ever said it was for pussies was right)I also tried Kodiak Ice and am pissed that they recently changed it to mint cause that stuff was good especially when frozen. Now a days I chew Griz wintergreen but currently as I am typing this I am chewing a Kodiak Mint kids take my advice and don’t start at a young age if you start at all.
Posted by: Nathan on May 19, 2008 1:52 AM
Dude! When chewing Kodiak or Copenhagen, you are not suppose to dip a huge amount like baseball players. Ball players with big globs of chew in their mouths are chewing loose leaf tobacco. Think Red Man, Apple Jack, Beechnut.
No wonder you barfed.
Posted by: AlNino on July 14, 2008 3:59 PM
